Bigger every day...

So I looked in the mirror this morning and realized that I'm really not looking so hot.
The belly I have been jiggling for a long while now has gotten firm...and projects quite a bit farther out than before. And that's a good thing I guess, but at the same time, it's sort of scary. I went through my "skinny clothes" closet a couple of days ago, because there was a donation pickup. That was pretty ok, I got rid of some things that will help some thin person dress well at their job. But then I look at my everyday closet, and wow... most of this stuff is going to get tossed. I haven't worn most of it for over a year now, and won't be able to for another year. So why bother? it's going to be WAY out of style by the time it fits again! So that got me thinking of all that is going to have to happen prior to May 22... and I freaked. I started getting way stressed out, thinking about all of the house stuff we have to do, furniture to buy, setting up a day care, adjusting insurance, paying off bills... Will my car be big enough? What if there isn't a day care that will accept a 6 week old child? Can I afford to stay home and work part time until they will take the child if they won't take them so early? Will I be stuck eating random food from the freezer forever because I won't have the energy to cook... like it is now? Will I get my love of food back? What will become of me? AAAAAAAAAAH!
So much to think about.... why it hit now, I have no idea. I guess I've finally gotten through to 12 weeks, and now I've allowed myself to move past the moment and think of the future. Scary thought that some day cares actually have a 1 year waiting list... as if you're going to check them out prior to getting pregnant?! Plus they're so expensive....and do I want one close to work or close to home? I need a pediatrician. Do I want to immunize my child with the MMR shot that has been linked to autism? Is there a pediatrician that will accept my non-immunized child? What if there isn't? I so need a glass of wine... but alas, it will have to be grape juice.

Tonight will be a time to not think of these things... instead to ponder what makes a great work of architecture. I'm going to the Inhabit Dallas premiere party, and there will be all sorts of architecture-design-types there. It's cocktail attire, and unfortunately my perfect dress is no longer available for wear. But... of course i'm wearing black! After all, it IS an architecture function... so I'm donning my all-purpose black dress that is a bit big for me (allowing for the belly to become even larger), and making it more fitted with a brooch. Long story, but it works with the design...in theory. Bling will make it cocktail-worthy, right?
Wish me luck... all I need are some snooty looks and I might just break down in the poolhouse....
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